Be forewarned…

 

…As the the owner and author of this site, I accept no responsibility for loss of sanity, lasting psychological damage or physical illness due to the reading of this blog site. Anything you read you do so at your own risk. You have been warned.

The single reason for the existence of this blog is not because of some burning desire to share my life story with people thousands of miles away that I never even cared existed, let alone knew they did. It is not because I “had a bad childhood and just need to feel loved” (more commonly referred to as an attention-seeking-bastard). It is simply because I recently co-founded a freelance writers group for which we have a blog (washiwashi.wordpress.com, bit of sly advertisement for you there), and for me to administrate the blog as well, I was required to set up an account/blog with wordpress. And so The Life and (Controversial) Times of Ben Thornton was born.

Let me stress that this is not a full time project. I’ll be posting and editing on here sporadically, when I find the time and the will power. It’s going to be a laid back blog with various musings and the like, and mostly intended to be a sort of dark, satrical blog. Basically, if you’re looking for one of those sad gits that post every day with everything that happens to them and pours their hearts out to millions of complete strangers just so you can laugh your arse off at them, you’ve come to the wrong place. If, however, you’re looking for intelligent, yet darkly humourous musings on the day to day happenings of every day life, society, politics and the world as a whole, then you’ve likely come to the right place.

Like I said, I don’t intend for this project to take over my life. I’ve got far too much on my plate as it is, and my Mother always told me “Waste not”. Well, she actually said “Get those fucking sprouts eaten now you ungrateful little shit!”. But I got the general idea.

And now comes to the torturous part for both of us – the introduction. God I hate these. They’re so monotone and drab, don’t you think? Hi, my name’s blah I was born in blah on the blah of blah, 19blah, and I work as a blah. Occassionally you get the odd prick that wants to swim upstream, and goes on about how his mother was a junkie, his dad got sent down for slave trafficking, his sister is a prostitute with AIDs and just yesterday he got shot in the lung but made a miraculous recovery. That’s nice. Remind me why I give a shit again?

Believe me, I won’t be offended if you skip the next bit. I’ll keep it as short as possible, for both our sakes. Deep breath, here goes.

My name’s Ben Thornton, I live in Scarborough, in the North of England, am 19 years old, and juggle work between Sixth Form College, Barwork, Waitering and Professional Freelance Writing.

Phew. Don’t know about you but I’m struggling for air. Glad that’s over with.

Well, that about covers everything in my wonderfully inspired, and yet utterly shite introduction, so until the next ridiculously long and ludicrously vulgar news post, ciao.